Emotionless

I read the prompt for this week and found out we were suppose to write on our revisions for our essay. Well, my essay is going to need a lot of revising. My beloved grandmother who I wrote about in my essay passed away earlier this week. I don't know what to think. Life is not fair. I don't understand how this happened. I can't cry, I can't talk, I can't think. This wasn't supposed to happen...at least not now. Oh God not now!! Please pray for me as well as my family. This is going to be difficult.

Oh the joys of music!!

I don't really have a unique passion. But, I do have a passion. I have a STRONG love for music. I listen to music all day, every day. In fact, if you see me around campus I almost always have my earphones in listening to my wonderful ipod. I love all types of music..rap/hip hop, country, reggae, gospel, pop, rock, blues...but my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE is R&B. I love it. It's so relateable and...well...simply pretty. The close runner up is country. I love that country tells stories. It's all so beautiful. Ok...i know i sound really dorky right now, but that's what talking about music makes me do. I remember when I was in highschool and my mother had to punish me, she wouldn't take away my tv, cell phone, car keys...she took away my stereo and cds in my room. When doing that...she knew she hit me below the belt. It just hurt!!! So obviously if I love music so much than I must have a favorite singer right? OF COURSE...I am a huge Beyonce fan. Not only do I love her music, but I love her demeanor...or swagger as we say it. She's strong, independent, talented, smart...and of course gorgeous. I haven't had the chance to see her in concert yet...but oh when I do...it will be such a glorious day! lol...

Life's Twists

Life is so random. It throws unexpected twists at you everyday. I recently wrote an essay on visiting my grandmother at a nursing home. I shared how healthy she looked and how she still had that wonderful sense of humor. Well, life's unexpected twists came into play on Monday. That same grandmother had to be rushed to the hospital. My grandmother, as I said in my essay, has been in and out of the hospital for years. One minute her health is stable...the next its not so good. Well, my grandmother's kidney is functioning only 20%. She is too weak for dialysis and the doctors are saying things don't look well. In fact, the doctors along with my family, have decided to give her until Friday to turn around. If not, they will take her off the medication which is the only thing keeping her alive. As you can imagine, this is really hard for my family. However, most of us--including myself---are extremely optimistic. You see, my grandmother has been sick for a very long time. Even though I love her with all my heart and don't want to lose her, I'd much rather her live eternally in peace than suffer on earth. I believe that God makes NO mistakes. If it is His will that she goes "home" to heaven, than I will rejoice and celebrate with her.

And the search is on....

Graduation...May 9th...still...NO JOB! The clock is ticking and the anxiety is full swing. I am completely, undoubtedly stressed from the quest of finding a job. Everyday...I wake up, check my emails, send out resumes and make phone calls. All day...everday. I'm so sick of it...either no one is hiring due to hiring freezes, job cuts, or the infamous "we have your resume and we will get back to you when a position becomes available". I just don't understand. I did everything I was told to do...spent years updating my resume, made contacts, prepared for interviews, beefed up introductions, yadiya yadiya yadiya...but still no bite. I don't understand how we can gain experience if no one wants to give us that first time shot. Well, I guess I can't keep complaining about it. It's just the way it is right now. In the meantime...I will keep checking emails, sending out resumes and making phone calls. OHHHHH the JOY!!! :(

Spring Break....hmph!!

So we are back from Spring Break and we should be replenished and ready to work right?? NOOO!!! My Spring break was nothing but relaxing. You all know by now that I have a nearly 3 year old son. Well, he had to get his tonsils and adnoids taken out during my week home. If you've had you tonsils out than you know it is a painful process. No imagine being 2 years old in that type of pain....get my drift!! He was in so much pain the first three days and nights. I got no sleep and was extremely stressed because he wouldn't eat anything and lost 10 pounds in less than a week. It was so heartbreaking when he begged for me to make the pain stop! And to top that off... the pain medicine burned his throat when he took it. So needless to say it was an ongoing battle to give him his medication to make him feel better. Towards the end of the week the pain began to ease off and he ate a little, but I caught a MASSIVE cold thing that made me feel miserable. I am still not completely healed from this MONSTER of a cold!! UGH!!!! But, Jayden (my son) is back to normal now and I am back to school...even more stressed! May can't get here soon enough!!!

Wow...seniorities really does exist!!

Well, the time is winding down and May is fast approaching. I can totally taste the sweet events of May 9, 2009!!! But, i have to get to that day first!! I'm taking pretty reasonable classes but the infamous senioritis is starting to take control. I've never been a victim of this disease until now! I am so DONE with school. I'm tired of homework, tired of exams, tired of papers, tired of studying!! Is this wrong? I mean, come on, I've been here for 4 1/2 years!! I need help!! You would think the reality of graduation being less than 2 months away would be enough motivation to do my work...but it's not!! Now don't get me wrong, I am completing my assignments. But, I have become a procrastination QUEEN!! And all that does is stress me out!! Someone help...PLEASE!!

Ugh....BLOGGING!!!

Ok....so we all have heard Prof. Renfroes several warnings about us not blogging. Well, for some reason I still can't get the hang of this. I have only two posts since the beginning of the semester. That's pitiful...I know!! And it's definitely not that I don't care about doing it or just intentionally putting it off...i forget!! I'm used to writing in a journal....not blogging!! So, Professor Renfroe and my fellow students, please forgive me. I am going to do better!!! : )